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Annie Ackerson and the Three Kittens

Annie Ackerson yawned and stretched her arms over her head and looked out the kitchen window, gazing forlornly at the miserable foggy and wet landscape stretching away toward the main road on which her house sat. She wasn't fooled, she thought depressedly as her microwave oven began to ding, heralding the completion of her morning coffee. "Instant crap...", she sighed to no one as she took a sip, for this house was empty save herself, and had been so for years now. "And they can't tell me this is going to be a pretty day either", she grumbled as the weatherman on the morning news professed the wonders of a sunny and mild day yet to come, "I've been living in this state too long to believe that nonsense!" No, Annie was not fooled at all.

After finishing her coffee and a quick peanut butter sandwich (one of Annie's morning staples), she hurried out the door to her car, worried about being late for work as she so often was. Had she been hurrying any faster, she might never have noticed the tiny, fuzzy curl of a kitten's tail poking out from beneath the left front tire of her old and tired Chevette. As it happens, she did somehow notice, and to her astonishment, found two more as well after leaning down to take a closer look. What met her eyes were six more bright golden ones peering back at her nervously. "Kittens?", she mumbled nervously, "Awwww you little guys... Where...?" She looked around for signs of a mother cat, but saw none in sight. Glancing at her watch anxiously, she thought to herself, "What do I do?! I'm going to be late and I can't just leave them!"1 She looked all around. She could put them under her hydrangea. Its big sheltering leaves would keep most of the rain off them. The mother cat was sure to be looking for them and would find them soon. But... she knew better. The mother cat was safe and dry in somebody's house, crying piteously becase her babies were gone. Carried off and dumped on this lonely road, a cruelty that only the human animal was capable of. She bit her lip to stop the sudden tears. If she cried her mascara would run. And her boss was just as tyranical about neatness as she was about punctuality.

Well, she couldn't leave the kittens alone in her house. They'd be hungry. And do all kinds of unpleasant things on her carpet. So, she gathered them up and put them in her car. By the time she got to her office building, miracuously the rain had stopped and the sun had popped out. But that created another problem. She's thought she could leave the babies in her car. But now, with the sun shining, it would get too hot in the car. So she did the only thing she could. She wrapped the kittens in the Macintosh she didn't need anymore and took them with her.2 Annie walked into her office building, and sauntered past the front desk, a little bit too casually, trying to pretend she didnt, in fact, have a bushell of kittens under her arm. Just as the desk clerk looked at her co-worker with peculiarity, Annie hopped through the double doors in her haste, and hurried up the stairs; she didnt want to be seen in the elevator. Finally, Annie made her way to her office, and carefully placed the kittens in an unused cardboard box, and slid it under her desk next to some old files, where she could watch over them while she worked at her computer. Eventually, though, Annie realized that kittens will make noise...she began to get nervous, hoping none of her co-workers will notice the frequent "mews" coming from her office, and it was against policy to keep doors shut if less than two people were inside. 3 Annie fussed and squirmed a bit in her chair. She looked out the window and despite the now sunny weather she was more glum than ever. What was she going to do with these kittens? As soon as she thought that, one of the secretaries entered her office carrying a stack of forms for her to go over. Suddenly one of the kittens mewed. The secretary tried to peer over the desk to see where that sound was coming from and Annie quickly opened her file drawers that squeeked to cover up the sound. The secretary left, a little perplexed, and Annie breathed a sigh of relief. "That's another close one avoided", she cooed to the kittens, scratching them one by one. "It's obvious I'm going to have to find you little guys some food."4

Down the hall was a small cafeteria where Annie could sneak some scraps for the kittens. "Perfect," she thought, but if she went for food, she'd have to leave the kittens unattended. The kittens started meowing in hunger. Annie knew she had to do something. She went out into the hallway and closed her door, hoping no one would walk by and hear the kittens. She scurried down the hall towards the cafeteria. No one was around. "I'm home free," thought Annie. Just as she opened the refrigerator door, she heard footsteps approaching from behind her. She quickly turned and looked. It was her boss, looking very stern, walking directly toward her. He briskly stomped closer and closer to her office door.5

Annie snatched a small carton of milk and a sandwhich out of the fridge. She didn't know who's lunch she was taking. She'd have to put it back. Well, the sandwich, anyway. She had to have the milk. Right now she needed the sandwich to keep the milk from looking too suspicious. She rushed back to meet her boss in front of her closed door.

"Good morning, Mr. Brunewilder," she said, dismayed that she sounded so breathless. Mr. Brunewilder always made her feel like a wimp. When he said nothing but just stared at the carton of milk, she went right on sounding wimpy. "I -- I didn't have time for breakfast this morning. So I'm --" she held up the sandwich. "I'm -- having my lunch a little early. I -- I guess it'll be brunch, won't it?" She gave a wimpy little laugh.

"What's that?" Her boss cocked a suspicious ear as a distinct mewing came through her closed door.

"My tummy," Annie said quickly. "Growling. Because --"

"you didn't have time for breakfast."

"And I missed dinner last night too, you see, because --"

"It seems you're being remiss in a lot of ways, Annie. You don't have time for meals at home so you take time off work for them."

"Well, but, if I have my lunch now... I'll work through lunch time.... I'll get my work done, Mr. Brunewilder."

"See that you do." He turned on his heel and strode away.

Annie slunk into her office and closed the door behind her. Now... what was she going to use for a saucer?6 Annie rooted around her drawers, and eventually came upon a paper clip tray she's never used, sighing in relief.

"Okay, kiddos, here ya go," she said to the kittens, lowering the tray full of milk into their box. For a minute, the kittens merely gazed at the milk, neither one making any move to get their share of it. Annie looked at them and shrugged, thinking they just werent hungry yet. She went back to her desk and decided to continue her "morning memo faxing duties."

Annie rapped her nails on the desk, cursing the fax machine for being so slow. She noticed the silence in the room, and rolled over to kittens' box in her office chair to check on them. Looking in, she gasped. The tray full of milk was gone, and what was more astonishing, in its place sat a glistening, golden goblet full of the reddest wine Annie had ever seen.

"What the...??" Annie whispered. The kittens tumbled about eachother, mewing happily. 7

Staring incredulously at the goblet, she cautiously picked it up and sniffed it, not knowing quite what to expect. "It certainly smells like wine...", she thought, "But... that's not possible!" She looked quickly around her office for a prankster, then shook her head in disbelief of her own silliness. Where could a prankster hide in this cramped office in the first place?

Annie did the wise thing then, and tested her sanity. First she dipped a fingertip into the goblet, and scrunching her face up at what she was about to do, tasted it. It reminded her a bit of a good Merlot, but it was smoother, much better in character than any wine she'd tasted before. In fact it was absolutely the best wine she'd tasted in her life, and being a bit of a wine connaiseur, she knew wines quite well. Throwing caution to the wind, she took a sip, and delighted in the aromas and feel of this fantastic vintage, then stopped herself. "What am I doing?! I'll be fired by that bastard boss of mine if he smells alcohol on my breath!", she thought in a bit of a panic. Just then, as if by request, her office door opened to reveal her boss, come to her with more paperwork. Heart racing madly, she glanced at the goblet in her hand, and unreality flooded her mind as she realized she was standing there looking rather foolish with an empty hand raised - the goblet was gone! What was happening here?!8 Annie's boss gave her an unusual look. He opened his mouth to say something, but after some effort clamped it shut again. His face turned a light pink, and he began to grovel and groan. Annie gasped as before her very eyes, her boss collapsed to the floor, writhing in pain. His ears stretched forth, his nose grew, and a short curly tail sprouted from his behind. Annie was awestruck. Her boss had transformed into what she had hoped he would become! The disgruntled pig squealed and ran under her desk, nestling with the kittens. As the golden goblet appeared again in her hand, annie realized there was something speacial about this wine...9

Annie didnt know what to think. Heart racing, she tried gathering her wits, hastily putting the goblet down on the desk as if it were some kind of poisonous creature. The only thing she could think of at the moment, is that she didnt want to have anything to do with the pig.

"Shoo! Shoo!" she whispered to the pig, waving her arms at it. Startled, the pig jumped and trotted out the door. Forget a box of kittens, she couldnt be caught with a little pig! She didnt care what happened now. No one had to know the pig came from her office. Perhaps they'd just think it was somebody's prank...

Annie didnt care about the company's policies now. She slammed the door shut and rounded on the kittens.

"What have you gotten me into?" She hissed at them...But they were kittens, for Garfunkle's sake. She couldnt be angry with them. She picked up one the kittens, and her heart melted as she noticed it had blue eyes. She scratched its head and cooed at it, and after a few moments, realized that the kitten's gaze was fixed on something in the area behind her. Then, to Annie's fright, there came a crashing multitude of little "pings" and "tinks" from where the bulletin board was, next to the door. She turned around slowly, worried at what she might see. Thunderstruck, she dropped the tiny kitten into her lap. On the bulletin board, where there were supposed to be dozens and dozens of pushpins and tacks that held up notes and documents, the tacks and pushpins were now rearranged in a way that spelled something out...though not in any language she could recognize.10

It was then that Annie fully realized that it wasn't the kittens that were doing this to her but something bigger...and possibly badder. She scrunched up her face and tried to think of all the possibilities. Flooding with thoughts, Annie thought, "Did I do the wrong thing by bringing the kittens here and I'm being punished?" She also thought to herself, "But, I've always wanted to help animals and maybe this wine is really magical and rolling her eyes she thought...Great, now I'll have to help this pig of a boss on top of these kittens...jeez." She freaked even more when she thought of this very odd pushpin message. In the intense moments that all this happened Annie realized a few things; nothing bad had happened to her, she reasoned, so no she wasn't being punished, the wine MUST be magical and maybe a reward for her efforts with the kittens (and she giggled a little at the thought of her boss running the halls as a pig!), she looked at the board again and the cryptic message it contained and knew she had to decode it. Just then, she heard a few muffled screams outside her door, knowing her pig of a boss was terrorizing more workers. Annie was strangely calm all of a sudden. What she needed to do seemed clearer to her than it had all day. 11

Annie sat back down at her desk and frantically searched the internet for the meaning of the push pin message. She looked down at the kittens and they were all sitting up, looking at her expentantly, as if she should know what was going on. Annie suddenly felt really stupid. After all that had happened, she felt that she should be able to fiure this message out.

There was another yelp from the hallway and, with a sigh, Annie ran from her office. She saw her boss (the pig) running straight for her! Annie froze with her arms outstretched. The pig skidded to a stop right in front of her and she scooped him up. He was very quiet as she took him back to her office with the kittens. 12

"Now you behave yourself," she told him sharply, "and I'll let you stay here. We can't have you running around scaring everybody away from their stations, can we? They'll never get any work done."

She set him on the floor in the corner, then looked wildly around for something to put under him. She'd never heard of a house-broken pig. She saw nothing but her Macintosh. But before she could decide to make that sacrifice, Mr. Brunewilder stretched out on the floor, closed his eyes and started to snore. Well, if pigs could snore. That's sure what it sounded like.

"Pew!" Annie thought. "I just had a pig in my arms!"

She'd have to go to the washroom now. But she picked up the goblet of wine, took a small sip, and then took the goblet with her. She needed fortification to get through this day. In the washroom she took another sip, then set the goblet down beside the basin and scrubbed her arms and hards, using lots of soap. Suddenly she stopped, dripping wet. She had glanced up and caught sight of her reflection in the mirror.

Annie stared at herself. Well, if that WAS herself. The woman in the mirror was somebody she barely recognized. Instead of the drab, discouraged reflection Annie was used to, this woman was GLOWING!!! Her green eyes sparkled like emeralds and her skin was peaches and cream. She'd chewed off all her lipstick, if she'd thought to put any on this morning, but her lips were pink and dewy. Then, those lips curved into a mischievous smile as Annie reached up and started to take the pins from her hair.

Brunewilder and Son (no son had ever been seen around there and nobody knew if there really was one)had a very strict dress code. Women's knees were to be covered. And their hair was to be either very short and severely pulled back and pinned up. There was going to be no hanky panky around HERE on company time!!

But Mr. Brunewilder was a pig now, and Annie was glowing. So Annie let her hair tumble around her shoulders (it was only so long because she never bothered to get it cut) and then she gasped. Her drab straight hair was glossy and curling! And redder than she'd ever seen it!

Well well well. If the boss could turn into a pig, was it too much to believe the boss's CPA could turn into a siren? Annie reached up under her suit jacket, pulled her skirt up and turned the waist band down. She couldn't take the skirt up much but... she could see her knees. She picked up her goblet and took another sip. While the boss was a pig, this mouse was going to jig.

Annie giggled as she stepped through the door... virtually into the arms of the hottest hunk she'd ever laid eyes on. In a plaid shirt and jeans, with a scruffy dark beard, he looked like a lumberjack. Or a cowboy. Or something. But he was hot hot hot! Annie looked him over, then stared into his dark eyes until she'd forgotten her own name.

He quirked one eyebrow. "Having a party, are we?"

"Uh... ummm..." Annie struggled to collect herself. To remember she was the company CPA. "The receptionist is right through there," she said, indicating the door by waving her goblet at it.

"I've been through there. The receptionist is sitting on her desk with her feet drawn up, muttering something about a pig rubbing its snotty nose on her... pantyhose. It looked like she's taken them off. The pantyhose."

Oh my god...! Annie managed not to say it aloud, tried to put on a stern look. "If you'll tell me who you are and what you want, maybe I can help you."

"Fair enough." Were those mesmerizing eyes laughing at her? "I'm Eric Brunewilder and I'm here to see my dad."

Oh my god!!! There was a son. And WHO was going to tell him his father was a pig???13

Annie felt her stomach knot just a bit...she reasoned, giggling inside just a bit, that this was just a memory of her former life.

"Oh Good Lord!", she thought. The damage, the pig, the wonderful, beautiful kittens. All this went through Annie's head in just a matter of seconds. Then, she had to give thought to what she was thinking right now; that this man, this son of a...pig was incredibly handsome!

Annie tossed her new wonderfully shiny red hair in a playful fashion and smiled (maybe a bit too seductively). She had to catch herself. Annie had other more important things to think about than her love life.

Annie wanted to tell Eric to come into her office but she knew that there was basically a barnyard in her office at the moment...not to mention the shape his father was in.

Annie tried to think of somewhere she could stick Eric while she tried to figure out a way to change her sorry ass boss back.14 Eric Brunewilder just stood staring at Annie. "Miss...excuse me, miss. My father?" Eric said. "Oh, uh...sorry," Annie replied. "Your father is in a meeting. Please follow me. You can wait in the lounge and I will let him know you're here." Annie smiled and saw Eric smile back. Her heart leapt just a bit. She knew she had to get back to the kittens but she really wanted to see how much further Eric's smile would go.

Annie lead Eric down the hall, around 2 bends and down 2 flights of stairs, all the while revelling in knowing that his eyes were on her the whole time. She had never felt so good!

Annie opened the door and pointed out the coffee maker and the soda machine. "I'm sure your father will be with you shortly". She smiled at Eric and again felt ..... something spark between them. As Annie closed the door behind her she giggled again. What a wonderful feeling! She almost skipped back to her office to check on the kittens.15 Back in her office she felt her eyes glide over to the push pin message. Suddenly, spookingly, she realized that she could read it!! The pins weren't rearranged or anything, nor was it translated to english; it was the same as it always was, except now she knew the words those pins stood for.

She stared for a while, her heart beating in her throat it seemed, and tried to focus, "Ok, she thought, "get a grip woman." She let random thoughts flow in then out of her mind, and the looked once more at the message, Yep, that's what it says alright.

"The wine glass will disappear and reappear three more times today. At each time, you may take a sip, and your will shall be done. Good luck"16

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